Blog on the Bus pt 11 (do you believe in signs?)

A very good morning to you bus traveller. The number-4 is a bit busy this morning, standing room only (won’t someone offer me a seat? I am a writer you know), so forgive any spelling mistakes as I bobble along (easy on the brakes, driver!)
The subject of today’s inspirational (to some maybe) catch up is ‘signs’. As in messages from a higher presence, not as in road signs. Last night my fragile writer’s confidence was feeling a bit sorry for itself as it sat in a pub waiting for someone to talk to. The self-confidence us writers try to emit is very delicate and I don’t think average Joe Reader quite realises just how fragile it is. So what caused last night’s wobble? I’m not sure really. Self-doubt I guess (I have bundles of that if anyone needs any. In fact I’m thinking of listing some of it on eBay with a ‘buy it now’ price of ¬£0.01)
So I lifted my eyes towards the ceiling (not sure what I expected to see, maybe a friendly spider) and asked for a sign (not a traffic sign, remember). I said aloud “am I on the right track with my life? Is writing my future? Will my writing one day pay the bills? Or am I just kidding myself about this writing malarchy?” The truth is I love writing stories, I’m passionate about it! But selling 300 books a month does not pay the mortgage, my 9-5 office job does. I needed to know if I needed to re-prioritise.
Do you know what happened?
Well…nothing, at least not at that point. I later went up to bed, totally forgetting about my drunken conversation with the ceiling.
But just before I turned the light out, a voice in my head told me to log onto Amazon and see if my work had received any new bad reviews (my writer’s confidence is a ‘glass half empty’ kind of guy). I know it’s the ultimate sin for writers to pay any attention to reviews. I don’t know what caused me to check.
What I found was a very kind 5* review posted by a mystery pair of initials for my 2nd book ‘Remorse’. Sure he spelt my surname wrong, but I can overlook that.
If I were a believer in signs and that there is a higher presence guiding me along the way, I’d say it was the sign I was looking for.
So before I press the bell to stop today’s ride, I make you this promise: I will keep writing and I will batter my self-doubt to within an inch of its life!
Have a great day today, and happy reading!

Stephen

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