Blog on the Bus pt 19 (never buy a DVD before Christmas as they’re half the price afterwards)

I am stood at the bus stop on this chilly Tuesday morning and it has just started to rain. You may have seen in an earlier post (Blog on the Bus pt 5)that I tend to predict how well my day will progress on how my bus journey goes i.e. if the bus is late it’s gonna be a s**t day. That the bus is both late and it’s now raining should tell you how I’m feeling this morning.
I wouldn’t describe myself as a believer in psychic mumbo-jumbo. I occasionally read my horoscope but only to see what b.s. is being shovelled, but like most I do tend to judge a book by its cover. Last week I bought Peter Kay’s most recent stand-up DVD. I love Peter Kay (no, not in that way) and in my view Peter Kay, Michael McIntyre and Jimmy Carr are the 3 funniest comics in the UK, each capable of bringing me to tears. You can imagine my excitement at sitting down to watch my new DVD last night. The cover advertised it as Kay’s latest sell-out stand-up tour. It even boasted it included a whole 55mins of new stand-up material! I was excited, the wife was excited, heck, even the dog was excited. I removed the DVD from its case, inserted it and pressed play…

***spoiler alert***

If you don’t want to know what happens, please look away now…

Oh, you’re still here. Thanks for staying. Incidentally the ‘X4’ has arrived at last and whilst I’m hardly sitting comfortably, at least I’m dry. Anyway, where was I? Oh that’s right, I’d just pressed play. What then proceeded to play out was an hour or so of backstage monologues from Mr Kay himself, interspersed with some clips from his tour. At first, I thought this was just an introduction to the show but it kept going. My second thought was that I’d happened to stumble upon one of the DVD’s extras so returned to the menu to check but no this was it. I continued watching until the end, still clinging to a vague hope that the show would eventually start.

But it didn’t.

The DVD ended and I felt thoroughly dejected. Don’t get me wrong, I am still a massive Peter Kay fan and had I wanted a behind-the-scenes tour this would have been brilliant. But that’s not what I’d knowingly bought. I suppose the point I am trying to make (there’s one here somewhere?) is that false advertising is frustrating for genuine fans and all those indie writers out there claiming to be the next Cussler, Child or Barclay need to consider their reader’s feelings. I don’t claim to be anyone. I’m just me. I don’t even claim to be good. But I’ll tell you this much: I’m getting better!

Until next time, happy reading!

Stephen

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