Blog on the Bus pt 37 (where is that Joseph and his Technicolour Dreamcoat when you need him, eh?)

It is said that in biblical times (a land before Facebook, kindles and online dating) it was possible to wander down to your local prison and find an inmate willing and able to interpret your dreams. How we roared with laughter as the Pharaoh’s encounter with 14 cows was interpreted as a need for food frugal-ness. But it paid off and Egypt survived a seven year famine! So maybe there’s something in this dream-interpretation business.

Calling all inmates who may read the Blog on the Bus for some harmless escapism (of the mind you understand, I’m not abdicating prison break), come and interpret what I was served up with last night…

There I was out and about in a Southampton under siege from a gang of masked men with machine guns (stranger than you might think – Southampton is nothing like the city I paint in my books!). The thing about these bandits is they could morph into footballs and bounce away quickly if there position became perilous. Odd, right?

The men / balls were being hunted down by a group of vigilantes dressed in bee costumes (as in the buzzing variety). Upon their heads they wore bright orange bicycle helmets and for weapons they carried large wooden sticks. You must understand that the vigilantes had no special powers, they were just men and women dressed in furry costumes for no obvious reason!

I can’t tell you which side won as the alarm went off and I was woken from my slumber. Nevertheless, I would welcome any thoughts and suggestions on what it all meant and who are the men-balls in my life and who are the bees? I believe I was about to join the bees when my initiation was rudely disturbed by the Radio-1 DJ on the alarm clock.

So Joseph, put that amazing technicolour dreamcoat on and tell little old me ‘What does this crazy, crazy dream mean?’

Thanks for joining me on the bus this morning. Until next time, happy reading!



Blog on the Bus pt 36 (money laundering and other lucky portents)

Good morning, good afternoon or good night (wheresoever you find yourself today). I’m on a bus unsurprisingly and on my way to work. But of course I lead something of a double life. By day I’m a mild-mannered risk manager in the financial services industry but by night I’m…

a killer, rapist, detective, or whatever else my imagination chooses to dream up (if only the life of an author really was exciting!)

The background to my blog title today revolves around a waving cat. I don’t mean a four legged furry Whiskers-eater (my dog would go nuts if we got a real cat!), I am of course referring to a cheap, plastic, battery-powered image of a cat with a waving arm. Before you ask, I do mean like the type you see in the window of every Chinese takeaway. We have been given one as a present, as in Chinese mythology it is meant to bring financial luck to the owner of such a portent.


So, about 6 weeks ago I lost £50. It was a payment from a family member that I had intended to deposit in my savings account. I thought I had handed it to my wife to place in the account book but she was adamant that I hadn’t given it to her. I was distraught: I am in no position to just lose £50!

We looked everywhere: I sifted through two used bin bags. I touched stale tea bags, used nappies, empty food containers, leftover takeaway contents (Kim and Aggie would have loved it but I was choking back vomit). We checked in our safe, in the pile of unopened post, under the sofa, in the pockets of clothes, I even interrogated my 2 year old daughter but she wouldn’t crack.

We eventually gave up, knowing that the money was out there somewhere: alone.

I found it last week.

I got home from work on Wednesday night and was looking through the airing cupboard for a shirt I could wear the following day and in the pocket of a purple shirt was the money in question: still folded and usable.

It’s official: I’m now a money launderer.

I don’t recall placing it in that shirt and I’ve no idea how the money wasn’t discovered when the shirt was shoved into the washing machine or when it was hung up to dry or even when it was placed in the airing cupboard. It’s a mystery!

Or is it?

That cat is still waving…

And so, maybe there is something in that Chinese mythology. I sincerely hope so.

Blog on the Bus pt 35 (walk like an indie)

Good morning and welcome to the bus. Just the two of us this morning, eh? Not quite sure why there’s nobody else here; guess it’s too early.

Anyway, while I’ve got your ear (well, your eyes at least) I thought I’d tell you that since announcing that I was giving away 20 copies of the Death Toll Anthology (see Blog on the Bus pt 34 (free can be a toll itself))I have been inundated with all of 2 emails! I had expected my inbox to have been ripping at the seams because everybody loves a £free book don’t they?

Apparently not.

So in the event that you saw my generosity as some kind of joke (I’m no Chuckle Brother btw) please take note:

Email me and I will send you a voucher to claim your £free (no strings attached) copy of Death Toll

This is a call to action: the next 18 readers to email me will get a copy!

Until the next time, happy reading!


Blog on the Bus pt 34 (free can be a toll itself)

Hiya, great to meet you. What brings you to the bus today? I’m on my way to work (as always *sighs*).

I have exciting news…

Death Toll is ever closer to publication. For those of you not aware of what this is, let me share…

Death Toll is an anthology of short stories written by some of the world’s most exciting authors (arrogant? Moi?) It features contributions from Stephen Leather, Alex Shaw, J H Bográn, Liam Saville, Howard Manson, Jake Needham and of course…me (modest to leave myself last, don’t you think?)

The short stories are between 1000 and 20000 words and will make great reading on journeys into work (not if you drive yourself of course: please note that read-driving is just as negligent as drink driving! Don’t do it!). This truly is a fantastic collection of work from a group of talented and immensely likeable authors. Which is why…

I am going to be giving away 20 copies of the book for £free (did I really just say that? *gulps*) on publication day to 20 lucky readers.

If you would like to receive your £free copy, all I need is for you to send me your name and email address to

The first 20 entrants will receive a redeemable voucher for the Kindle edition of the Anthology.

Furthermore, if those already very lucky readers post a review of Death Toll within 5-days (whether that be a 1*, 2*, 3*, 4* or even, dare I say it, a 5* review) they will automatically receive a voucher for my brand new thriller Dead Drop due out in June!

“Two free books?” I hear you holler. That’s right: two free books just for sending an email and sharing your opinion!

So, you know what to do: drop me your name via email and then sit back and wait for your copy of the hugely entertaining and breath-takingly brilliant Death Toll

I hope the wet weather doesn’t ruin your Tuesday. Until the next time, happy reading!


Blog on the Bus pt 33 (secrets and half-truths)


Can you keep a secret?

I finished writing Dead Drop today.

Ssshhh, I said to keep it a secret! The final pre-edit word count is 93k words, or to put it in context, 9k words longer than Redemption and 7k words shorter than Integration! Epilogue was completed this morning and I have printed out a paper version to begin the BIG edit. Those authors amongst you will understand the anxiety of approaching such a milestone. The book cover is already to go; if you follow my FB Author page you will have seen it already. The book trailer is complete too (if you haven’t checked it out yet I strongly encourage you to do so!)

The original release date for Dead Drop was 01 June and I haven’t given up hope of achieving it, though time is very tight now.

I’m hoping you’ll agree that this is my best work yet and that the book could be a platform for bigger things (that was the half-truth thing I alluded to).

In the meantime, I’d like to thank all my blog followers, tweeps and FB-ers for your continued and valued support.

Until the next time, happy reading!