Blog on the Bus pt 36 (money laundering and other lucky portents)

Good morning, good afternoon or good night (wheresoever you find yourself today). I’m on a bus unsurprisingly and on my way to work. But of course I lead something of a double life. By day I’m a mild-mannered risk manager in the financial services industry but by night I’m…

a killer, rapist, detective, or whatever else my imagination chooses to dream up (if only the life of an author really was exciting!)

The background to my blog title today revolves around a waving cat. I don’t mean a four legged furry Whiskers-eater (my dog would go nuts if we got a real cat!), I am of course referring to a cheap, plastic, battery-powered image of a cat with a waving arm. Before you ask, I do mean like the type you see in the window of every Chinese takeaway. We have been given one as a present, as in Chinese mythology it is meant to bring financial luck to the owner of such a portent.


So, about 6 weeks ago I lost £50. It was a payment from a family member that I had intended to deposit in my savings account. I thought I had handed it to my wife to place in the account book but she was adamant that I hadn’t given it to her. I was distraught: I am in no position to just lose £50!

We looked everywhere: I sifted through two used bin bags. I touched stale tea bags, used nappies, empty food containers, leftover takeaway contents (Kim and Aggie would have loved it but I was choking back vomit). We checked in our safe, in the pile of unopened post, under the sofa, in the pockets of clothes, I even interrogated my 2 year old daughter but she wouldn’t crack.

We eventually gave up, knowing that the money was out there somewhere: alone.

I found it last week.

I got home from work on Wednesday night and was looking through the airing cupboard for a shirt I could wear the following day and in the pocket of a purple shirt was the money in question: still folded and usable.

It’s official: I’m now a money launderer.

I don’t recall placing it in that shirt and I’ve no idea how the money wasn’t discovered when the shirt was shoved into the washing machine or when it was hung up to dry or even when it was placed in the airing cupboard. It’s a mystery!

Or is it?

That cat is still waving…

And so, maybe there is something in that Chinese mythology. I sincerely hope so.


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