Blog on the Bus pt 65 (I’ve discovered the secret to making it as a writer – *caution includes spoilers*)

I know what you’re thinking: why is this lunatic blogging before 8am on a chilly Monday morning in December? I know, right? Catching a bus to work on a Monday: it’s like I’ve gone back in time. You don’t need to know why I’m on a bus on a Monday, that’s irrelevant to this story.

The point is, as I was walking to catch the aforementioned bus, I had a genuine Eureka moment. True, I wasn’t in the bath and certainly wasn’t naked (not in this weather!) but I practically leapt up as the moment struck. It’s what every indie author (and some traditional ones too) strive for: global success. This morning, I realised what it is.

Do you want to know?

I mean, do you really want to know?

(think of this as one of those which pill should I take? crossroads moments)

Are you sure you’re ready for this?

Okay then. I’ll give you a clue…

One word…

Five letters…

Not got it yet?

O-P-R-A-H

Before you ask, I’m not planning to transform my books into dramatic musicals that only strangled cats can sing (I said Oprah, not opera)

Oprah Winfrey is the key.

How many times have we seen her proclaim a book as worth reading only for it to fly off the shelves in every bookstore around the world? I’m telling you: if you want to make it in this game, Oprah’s the key.

What were you expecting? A genie in a lamp?

The trick of course is getting the chat show icon to utter those words about any of my novels.

Don’t worry though, I have a plan. I don’t want to go into too much detail (in case something goes wrong and I need to find a patsy). Suffice to say, it involves 100 copies of my latest book Trespass, a microwave, a milk float and Oprah’s favourite cat.

If things do go wrong I could end up on the wrong side of a wet sponge at Guantanamo. If you don’t hear from me on the bus then look out for my Passage from Prison

Until the next time, happy reading,

Stephen

(Stephen is the author of Integration, Remorse, Redemption, Snatched, Shadow Line and Trespass.
Find his work here, here or via stephenedger.com
)

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