Dear Bus Blogger, I am in a state of panic as my trembling fingers tap the screen of my iPhone. I received a letter today and the news…well, let’s just say…it’s not good!
I’m not dying, before you ask (I hope at least one of you asked!).
It appears I (well, more accurately, my books) am being held accountable for the dip in tourism in Southampton!
I know, right? Unbelievable!
“Your stories, whilst thrilling and a bargain of a price (their words, not mine you understand) are painting Southampton as a city wracked with guns, crime and murder. So vivid and realistic are your stories (again, I’m quoting from the letter) that those reading them are being put off visiting the city. We politely request you start writing about somewhere where the crimes you describe actually exist. We suggest Portsmouth.”
You can understand my concern, dear reader. It is true that the stories I write are full of crime and thrills; for that I am guilty. But driving away would-be tourists, surely they realise I’m writing fiction!
To be honest, I’m an incy bit proud to be held in such high regard but I don’t want to end up in court for being born with an overactive imagination! I don’t think I’d last in prison…not with my boyish good looks (hey, stop laughing!)
So, dear reader, to keep the wolves from my back I’ve decided to do some positive publicity on behalf of the city where I live:
Southampton is a lovely place to visit. There is absolutely NO crime at all!
There. I’ve done it! In all honesty, Southampton (which has been my adopted home since 2000) is a lovely city and, if you’ve never been, I strongly recommend you come and visit it some day soon.
If, however, you’re looking for a city with a hidden criminal underbelly, where menaces lurk around every corner, then may I recommend you take a look at my novels (links are below as usual).
I better go. The bus is about to reach its destination and I can see blue flashing lights ahead of me. If you don’t hear from me again, it means I didn’t make it (probably my own fault for using a milk float as a getaway vehicle).
Until the next time, happy reading!
From the author formally known as Stephen.